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K & I with didu, October 2021

Caveat: Long post. Keep scrolling.
‘I did not think that you would come. That I would get to see you again,’ said my didu (my grandmom) to my K (my wife) in Hindi when we met her at Kolkata a couple of weeks back.

 
Didu is 93 and lives by herself with an unstable support system.
 
‘I never thought I would see you again.’


 
For the last 19 months I kept telling didu on the phone, ‘don’t say that. You see, we will meet again.’
 
For the first time in her life I heard fear and resignation in her voice as the pandemic engulfed the world. We sat helpless in Mumbai. I tried to speak with conviction, but for that I needed to believe myself first.
 
My mother was alone in Kolkata too through the first year of the Covid 19 pandemic. She had had a heart attack a few years back and she had just begun to have the courage to live by herself in her own apartment and boom, there she was with no house help to clean or cook. ‘Do not step out,’ was drummed into the heads of senior citizens as the world tried to decipher what this new virus was all about. How would she get provisions? How would she manage alone? She’s in her mid 70s. A granny herself!
 
My first point of action was to keep the faith. A few years back a yoga teacher had told me that I need to have a spiritual anchor, whatever it be, when I told her that I was agnostic, bordering on atheist. Just your average English speaking Bengali. Luckily I have found an anchor in Nicherin Buddhism since then.
 
I prayed not just for my mother and grandmother, but for elderly people around the world left isolated by the pandemic to be safe and looked after. And for the children to be able to support them the way they best could without feeling guilt. This separation was not of their choice. Everyone has their own reality. And there was so much fear then. Including that of putting people at risk by visiting them. Even now, there are people like my grandmother who have not got vaccinated as there is no door to door service for the same in India.
 
A proud moment for me. I translated the featured on me in Upper Crust to
didu into Bengali and read it out. She said, “you have made a name for yourself
in Mumbai.” Thank you for this Farzana ❤️
Two good things happened as the months passed by. 
 
Firstly, my brother went to Kolkata early this year on work and got my mother to his house in Gurgaon and she was no longer alone. He and his wife are good souls and I was at peace. Plus my niece, who was about to turn 5 then, found a friend in her thammi and vice versa. Imagine being 5 and staying at home with no company and with your parents busy at work even though physically present.
 
Secondly, my chhotomashi (youngest aunt) came from Toronto to be with my granny and had to stay on for 7 months due to border issues as Canada had sealed their’s for folks coming from India. I am sure that after leading a first world existence in Dubai and then Toronto and before that in Bandra (in Mumbai), GK (in Delhi) and Alipore (in Kolkata), this would not have been easy for her, but the main thing was that didu was not alone during this period. My other aunt and uncle in law were in Kolkata but they are growing old. Both had Covid after taking  both their vaccines but they did their best. We were still physically away, but a bit more assured.
 
There was a time when my granny expressed a desire for me to be given her much treasured fine crockery, after she passed on. I felt sad on hearing this from my aunt. These are not things that you want to think about.
 
‘I would love to take them’, I told didu. on phone “When I meet you in person.”
 
I heard a laugh of resignation at the other end.
 
I stuck to my promise and received the precious gift from didu when I met her
Then the world began to change. For the better.
 
We made a small trip to Goa in February on my birthday early this year but stayed home otherwise apart from the odd restaurant visit and in city hotel staycations in Mumbai.
 
Then we got our vaccines. We thought we would go to Kolkata on our 20th wedding anniversary in October, but my granny said there was a storm warning around then. 
 
We decided to go in November. My inner devil whispered, ‘she’s 93. Is waiting one more month wise?’ 
 
I shoo’d the doubts away and prayed a lot. We chose our dates, booked tickets and hotel. K did most of the planning and bookings.
 
Then I had a bad stomach, then a bad throat (‘Covid?’ whispered my inner devil), then I fell down from a chair at home (‘Fracture? How will you go?’ asked the devil). 
 
I had a Buddhist study lecture to give through zoom in a few days. I pushed my doubts away and prepared for it. Determined to give the talk even if I lay flat on the bed and my voice sounded like Mr Bachchan’s in Agneepath. Hain…
 
Of course I met the docs, did X-rays took meds
 
The throat cleared up. Back straightened up. There were no cracks of fracture. I gave the lecture sitting upright with a voice resonating with determination. 
 
My inner ‘devil’ still whispered to me. ‘Your flight is a week later. She’s 93. That’s a lot of time. Are you sure?’
 
I continued to pray, focus on work, did a #foodocracyforher interview. Did not let my faith flag.

 

We flew to Kolkata when the day arrived with no hassles. We flew Indigo and paid extra for the Fast Forward option and did not wait long for the check in. The security check at Mumbai T2 was the most organised of the 3 airports that we went to (Delhi was the worst on both counts and we took a Vistara there. Will the Tatas really make Air India better? Vistara itself needs a lot of work Mr T). We had to do a RTCPR test in Mumbai before leaving for Kolkata according to the Indigo website. These were not checked in Kolkata but the results reassured us that we were safe for granny to meet. PS: Mumbai T2 has the best loos among the airports we covered this time.
 
We stayed at the ITC Royal Bengal Hotel. Our second stay at this majestic property. We were upgraded to an ITC One suite and our butler Suvam Roy took good care of us over the 5 nights that we were there. The trip was a bit physically exhausting as we were not used to travelling in the city thanks to the pandemic and Kolkata uber and ola guys have this thing where the cancel at whim and do not switch the Aircon. It is as if the Left had not left and the unions still ruled. Soaking in the plush tub at the end of the day  helped and we booked ourselves at their Kaya Kalp spa for a relaxing massage before we left.

 

 

 
We visited didu twice during the trip. We reached around lunch time  on both occasions and stayed with her till about 5pm. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful it felt. She was in good spirits and health, touchwood, on both days. Her sense of independence is astounding. If I commend her on this, she says, “what choice do I have.”
 


She was thrilled to see Kainaz too. My pre-pandemic visits were centred around work and I was often by myself. Each time I would leave didu, I would make a wish that this was not our last meeting. There are times when she tells me about how much she suffers because of age and that she wonders why she “is still around.” I do not know whether it is selfish, but each time I hear that I wish for the opposite. Not that I want her to suffer but you know what I mean. There is a sense of peace which I feel when I am at her place. I feel as if I am ‘Baby Raja’ (Raja is my daak naam/ nickname) once again.
The first time I sat at this spot was possibly in 1981. This is 40 years later!
“What should I cook for you,” she asked. “You do not worry. I will bring food,” I said and the kind folks at ITC Royal Bengal packed us a ‘Red Riding Hood’ picnic basket of mochar ghonto (which she requested for), bhetki machher jhol (the ilish I had promised her was out of season), alu posto and Gobindo Bhog rice.

 

Happily dishing out the #locallove sent by the ITC chefs. In the past I had once cooked chicken
curry for her in their kitchens and took it for her. ITC is like family to us.
During our next visit, didu got her cook to cook for us and kept a hawk eye on her. Begun bhaaja, murgir jhol and triangular porotha. I do not know how she achieved it but the curry tasted exactly the way it does when didu makes it. Didu then fed me murir moa which she had made herself. She bequeathed me the crockery she wanted me to take. Brought with precious money when my grandparents were setting up home and which had travelled across cities with them. I got Suvam to pack it properly for me. They have reached Mumbai intact with us. Right now I do not have the heart to open them.
Didu’s amazing chicken curry
Another invaluable thing which happened on the second visit was that I had a long chat with didu after lunch on her life, dreams and aspirations and a bit about our family’s history while K recorded it on my iPhone. It is in Bangla and K feels I should subtitle it before posting, so you will have to wait a bit to see that.
Baby Raja
We also got to meet my boromashi and mesho (aunt and uncle in law) in Kolkata. The only members of our family unfortunately to have got Covid till now. They got it just after their second vaccine. The attack was not too severe and my aunt was asymptomatic, but they are now feeling the after effects in terms of extreme lethargy, ache and fatigue.
Despite all of this, mashi made us a gala feast of fulkopi chingrir chorchori, rui maachher kaalia and chicken chaap plus mishti from Narendra Bhavan. We were glad we could spend a decent amount of time with them. They must be feeling pretty alone too, with all of us, including their son, moving out of Kolkata for work. The story of so many families in the city.
What a spread at mashi and mesho’s. K is a big fan of her cooking.

 

 

This has been a strange trip. For once I was not focused on where and what to eat. After 19 months of being confined to Mumbai, I was just happy to meet my family. We do have a few close friends in Kolkata and we got to meet them. Though there were many we could not. The trip made me realise what family means to me. One took this for granted earlier.
Wait, did I tell you that food was not my focus during the trip?
Well, good food is in my karma and karma is in my name and yes, I did eat very well during the trip. 
 
With Kaniska and Manishita at the Darjeeling Lounge. He landed straight from Dhaka and came to
meet me with poni and bhakar khani. He loved the khansama cutlets here.


You have already read about the feasts at didu’s and mashi and mesho’s. I had my feast of my Bengali food favourites thanks to the chefs at ITC Royal Bengali.
Notable among which were the club kachori with alur chorchori, mutton khansamah cutlet, egg roll, koraishootir kochuri and shaada alur torkari, luchi and chholar dal, petai porotha and ghoogni.
Plus a beautiful north eastern meal curated by chef Ketti where each dish…be it the cauri soup, pork belly salad, the vegetable stew, rohu with bamboo shoot, chicken with spinach and smoked pork belly was memorable. She used to run a small eatery at Dimapur before she joined the kitchens at ITC. We had a lovely last meal at Ottimo (high points included, liver pate on bruschetta, the seafood soup, the lobster ravioli in prawn bique and the chocolate cake). I was impressed to see a young lady chef, Puja Sharma, helming it. Before you call me sexist, let me point out that is still rare to find women chefs in five star hotel kitchens. ITC Royal Bengal also has chef Sukanya, whom I did not get to meet this time. There’s chef Deepti at ITC Maratha who champions the Maharashtrian #locallove menu there and of course the legendary chef Manisha Bhasin, who is the corporate executive chef of the chain. Hopefully, this will no longer be an exception in the years to come.
With chef Ketti

 

Khansama cutlet and club kachori on checking in, menu decided
after a chat with chef Shubhankar who is now at ITC Sonar

 

Suvam pours out the kouri soup

 

Petai porotha and ghoogni

 

Chef Puja at Ottimo

 

Ottimo

 

Liver pate

 

Seafood soup with a posh name

 

Ottimo. We loved the venue.

 

My lobster digs into her lobster ravioli

 

The cake won some high praise at Oittimo
Luchi chholar dal

 

Was sad to say bye to our suite
Then there were our friends, who are now family, who spoilt us.
With Coco & Cookie/ Lyangcha and Ladykini

 

Rukshana and Suneha for example, who have become parents of two adorable kittens, Coco and Cookie. I renamed them (the kittens) Lyangcha and Ladykini and smothered them with kisses. I had the Kookie Jar lemon tart, which I love and which Ruki got for me, before we headed out for lunch.

 

Rukshana took us to Punjabee Rasoi. It’s a 12 year old place near Acropolis Mall at Kasba. Kasba was a bit like the South Side in Shameless when we were growing up. The badlands. Now looks very gentrified. Ruki told me that Punjabee Rasoi is a ‘hidden gem’ which ‘everyone will tell you they know about, but would not have told you about it before you mentioned it.’ She was right! Meow!
Sole tikka

 

Tandoori pomfret

 

Adrak ke panja

 

With Raju bhaiya, Rukshana and Suneha

 

Punjabee Rasoi near Acropolis Mall

 

Tarka dal

 

The place had apparently started as a two table and few plastic chairs joint and is run by a Raju bhaiya, a Keralite born in Kolkata. He is married to Preeti, an Amristariyan, who is born in Kolkata too. They opened a Punjabi eatery which then became such a big hit that it occupies the entire building that it occupies. They do not have a social media presence, do not deliver through apps and run packed to the gills. The excellent quality of the sole tikka, grilled prawns and the tandoori pomfret that we had, were testimony to Raju’s Keralite genes I suspect. I doubt if too many Punjabis can render fish kebabs so juicy. We had their famous adrak ke panja (mutton chops) which lived up to the top billing, I loved the mutton malmal even more. There was a lovely egg torka dal (the Kolkata Punjabi one uses kala arar versus green moong dal) and a tasting of a nice kali dal too. The chicken bharta, a Kolkata dhaba special, was a bit sweeter and redder than I remembered having in the city. The plain naans were lovely. The Kabooli naan with peanuts, a bit sweet for me. The joy that the meal gave me was infinite.
We followed it up with a coffee at the newly opened Roastery Coffee, which is an open air affair where the South India club used to be and the atmosphere was lovely. Unfortunately it was too late in the day for me to try coffees but I tried a nice interesting drink made with coffee berries.
At the Coffee Roastery with Suneha and Rukshana
We went back to the hotel and later went back to the same area as Roastery to Cafe Sienna, where we were hosted by our friends Kaniska and Manishita who love the place ever since Auroni Mukherjee took over as the chef there. He was indisposed that day but young chef Koel Roy served us some brilliant food while cat mamma, Raina Talukder, who was front of house made the service experience memorable. The pork bombas (croquettes with minced pork and Mozarella), the coca flatbread with cream cheese, avocado and smoked salmon and the spaghetti carbonara that we had, could match the fare in any of the most talked about restaurants in India. It is another matter that you have to belong to Mumbai, Delhi or Goa to make it to the glossies! Was the food ‘Kolkata inspired’, telling a story, a reinvention?
No. The food was nothing that you might not have had before. Basics, done exquisitely well. Which, in my book, is what makes for a great experience.
At Sienna with Raina and Kaniska

 

Chef Koel with the flatbread

 

They have a handicrafts store and K bought a lot

 

Pork croquette at Sienna

 

I did not want to share that carbonara
There was more food love bestowed by our friends in Kolkata. Our friend Debjani Banerji came to meet us and got me some lovely posto and jaggery powder from the hills. She wanted us to come home as did Anindya and Madhushree, another set of friends, but it just was not possible this time.
With Debjani at the Darjeeling Lounge. She loved the croissant with smoked salmon
that I requested for her when K pointed out that she might find the Kolkata stuff boring
I ordered in the biryani from my old favourite Shiraz one day and was heartbroken by the abysmal quality of meat and spices. I reached out to my friend Manzilat Fatima of Manzilat’s who next day sent me mutton biryani, nalli nihari and dal puri which shows why she is one of your best bets for Kolkata Awadhi food in the city today.
My favourite biryani across India is the Awadhi Dum Pukht biryani at ITC but I can get that in Mumbai too.
Manzilat’s Nihari and dal puri

 

Manzilat’s biryani
And then Doma di (Doma Wang) came over one morning, after waking up at 6 am to mince goat meat, to bring me her amazingly juicy mutton momos for breakfast and beautiful eclairs and Japanese cheesecake from Doma Asian Cafe which has recently become a restaurant from a home baker operation. I took some of the momos for my sister in law in Delhi and she loved them too. 

The Boma bakes were a hit

Those mutton momos were dumplings of love
Doma di
Delhi? Yes, that is the next part of the story and I will tell you about it soon. It has been a week since we returned from our week long trip and we were exhausted and there is renovation work going on at home. My mom in law looked after the boys in our absence with our friends Gia, Erika and Shaswati helping her. She left once we returned as the house was a disaster zone with only one room available. Things are a bit better now with the plastering done but our windows are now covered with plastic which makes it very gloomy.
K had taken a week off after the trip. Her first two week vacation after two years. I followed her lead and decided to take last week ‘off’ too. In my head, time off means not opening my laptop to write. I posted stuff on Instagram though. K of course works a zillion times harder than me and is an employee and gets a salary for her . Then there are entrepreneurs such as home chefs who cook to earn money.
What is ‘work’ for a freelance writer/ consultant like me, is something I often ask myself.
Work is very fluid for me as a writer. Most of my content is self initiated. It is ironical that is the 6th of December today (the day I wrote the piece). The day the Babri Masjid was brought down. We were in first year of college then. I say ironical, as the first time I found purpose as a writer when I decided to make connecting people from diverse backgrounds through my writings my goal. My small effort to help peace win over hate. Work followed. My book, my columns, consulting, editorial work, influencer work. This was pre-pandemic.
Right now, I want to focus one helping people keep their morale up during these tough times. Hence the idea behind writing the story of meeting my grandmom who thought she would never get to meet us again.
I do have certain professional goals. I plan to continue my focus on highlighting women in food, home chefs, small entrepreneurs and brand consulting. Host shows as an anchor. Write more books including one on our cats.
I am sure I will reach them someday but for now, I am going to write to you with as much honesty and transparency as possible in my blog. Hope it helps. Take care.
To be continued ….
 
Appendix:
Arundhati Ghosh of ITC Corporate Comms team
who coordinated our booking

 

My lunch from ITC Royal Bengal which I had in the flight

 

 

 

Some pics from where didu stays. October 2021.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Didu’s house. Was a single storied place when we lived there. It was a happy home.

 

Bought lovely shingara and nimki from a mishtir dokan in Didu’s para
The muri shop near Bansdroni bridge where we buy
muri chanachur
Enjoying shingara nimki once back in the hotel. These are best from corner shops.
Our apartment complex in Kolkata. Our apartment block is behind these.
K is in the white cab which was fined by the local constabulary for parking there

 

But then I was on a mission to get Mukhorochak special jhal papdi. Was sorry
to not find the original shop owner. His younger brother was there and said
the elder brother was not in a condition to sit at the shop anymore. Everyone
has aged in Kolkata.

 

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