The chicken pulao that our cook Banu made for me while she observed a fast for Ramzan. That’s a plate full of gratitude |
- This post is based on a conversation with my cook who is a Muslim lady about how she observes Ramzan
- It is an attempt by a non-Muslim to understand Islamic traditions around Iftar
- It is not meant to be a treatise on Islam. In case there are any errors in the text then I apologise for the same and would be happy to make any corrections required
- It has an appendix with comments from a couple of friends who are practising Muslims on what the spirit of Ramzan means to them
Earning a living comes first I guess.
Banu is a single mother who is very proud of having worked hard to have raised her children.
Given a chance she would be happy to talk about her family and health and every little thing with whoever she finds. She is quite the chatterbox and has a ball when my mom in law comes to visit us on weekends or when friends come to stay over. She loves to chat with them.
What my conversation with Banu told me was that while for us non-Muslims, Ramzan at the most means a time to feast on culinary delights from the community, for those who follow the faith the essence of Ramzan seems to about renewing vows of gratitude to a higher being, of discipline, compassion and of bonding with family, friends and the society at large.
Understanding leads to empathy
Even sweets can make Iftar special |
Sons of our father
I had been working on this post for a couple of days then I realised I must publish it today. It is my father’s death anniversary today and it has been about three and a half decades since he is no more.
One of my last memories of him was from when I was 9 years old. My teacher in school had requested him to drop a classmate of mine home as his father wasn’t able to come to pick it up.
As my friend and I jumped into the car I excitedly said, “daddy daddy this is… (I don’t remember his name) and he is Muslim.”
My father, who always pampered my looked at me sternly for a change and said, “I don’t want you to ever refer to people as Muslim or anything else. We are all human beings.”
Today in a Buddhist study session we discussed the importance of appreciating and respecting diversity to lead to a society that is inclusive, just and at peace. A lesson I had learnt when I was a child and hope I can live up to.
Remembering my father on his anniversaries with flowers and a prayer as my mother had taught us too. He had inculcated the values of respecting people different from me which I hope to live up to |
Ramaz or Ramadan is about developing self-discipline, humility and about all empathy, compassion and generosity
Appendix 7th July 2017:
I spoke to a few of my Muslim friends about the significance of Ramzan to them after publishing this post. I am adding in what I have learnt from them. These are the key points and then I will share their quotes verbatim.
Ejaz Mirza, market researcher, Dubai: Fasting keeps me humble, makes me generous to the needy and teaches me self control.
Zaheer Khan, chef, Gurgaon: Ramzan is an opportunity to practice self restraint and and self accountability and move to a healthier lifestyle.
Talha Nazim, advertising professional, Gurgaon: Ramzan teaches you to be grateful for what you have and to empathise with the have nots.
Arva Ahmed, conducts food walks, Dubai: Ramzan is about bringing us closer to those less fortunate about us
Ejaz Mirza … a friend from my market research days:
“The blessed month of Ramadan is a superb opportunity to practice self-restraint, self-accountability as well as a great chance to shift to lighter meals and find a healthier lifestyle.
To beat the hot weather, it is imperative to have the right choice of food during this holy month. Avoiding eating the leftover food from previous night, like fatty, oily, spicy, fried foods. Indulging in a healthy Sehri nourishes, hydrates and strengthens the body to cope with the upcoming fast; it also reduces the dreaded hunger pangs, Iftar is the time to replenish your energy level, while Sehri is meant to give you an energetic start. These days, skipping Sehri is a norm. People generally complain about the lack of sleep or time as an excuse to skip Sehri. Unfortunately, what they don’t realise is that, Sehri is not only good for the mind, body and soul, it is believed that those who partake in Sehri are rewarded with blessings.
Preparations for Iftar commence hours before, in homes and at roadside stalls. The fast can be broken by eating dates or drinking water, if the former is not available. In places like Hyderabad, people break their fast with Haleem because it has a rich taste and is quite filling. In southern states such as Tamil Nadu, and Kerala, Muslims break their fast with nonbu kanji a rich, filling rice dish of porridge consistency, cooked for hours with meat and vegetables. This is often served with bonda, bajji, and vadai. Vegetarians of other communities are given a dish called surkumba, which is prepared from milk. It is mainly done in certain parts of Karnataka.In northern states like Delhi, Uttar Pradesh, Madhya Pradesh and West Bengal, Muslims break their fasts with family and friends, with most Mosques also arranging free ‘Iftar’. Typically the fast is opened with fresh dates, cut fresh fruits (sometimes served as chaat) and fruit juice along with fried dishes like samosas, pakodas etc. The spread of ‘Iftar’ can be grand sometimes with dishes varying from vegetarian to non-vegetarian dishes and a variety of juices and sherbets. Iftar usually is a heavy meal and is followed by a light dinner before the night (isha) prayers.
I intend to continue to feed these people every year of Ramadan.Around 400 to 600 meals are provided for people in the mosque.”
Talha Nazim: An advertising professional and a friend
“1. Ramzan is one of the twelve Islamic months.
2. Fasting, according to God in the Qur’an, was prescribed to every religion.
3. Empty your stomach so that you can be filled with God consciousness
4. The Qur’an was first revealed in this month and continued to come in portions for the next 23 odd years.
5. Fasting is 1 of the 5 pillars of Islam obligatory on male and female who have reached puberty.
6. Fasting is a month to change for the better till you reach the next Ramadan and continue in your pursuit to be a better person till you die.
7. Women in period, the sick, children and elderly are excused.
8. Crux = be grateful for what you have and empathise with the have nots”
The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “If one is not willing to give up bad behaviour during his fast, God has no need for him to give up his food and drink.”
Arva Ahmed, co-owner Frying Pan Adventures food trails, Dubai
Not eating and drinking is a very small part of Ramadan, a physical manifestation if you will. The month is about bringing us closer to the people who are less fortunate than us—which is why I don’t believe the month is about feasting at all. After all, the Prophet only broke his fast with dates and water or milk. It’s about appreciating our daily plates of food by virtue of staying away from them for a few hours. It’s about sharing those plates of food with those who can’t afford them. It’s about setting the tone for a more moderate lifestyle throughout the year. It’s about giving back to the community. It’s a month of empathy, generosity, inner reflection and heightened spirituality. It should be a time when we focus on what to serve the lesser privileged rather than on what we will eat for Iftar. If we go through the day brooding over where to go for biryani or struggling between whether to have nihari or haleem for Iftar, I think we’ve missed the point!
We’re running Iftar walks under the Unseen Trails (unseentrails.com/ramadan) banner with our photography partners, Gulf Photo Plus. These are walks focused on the culture of Ramadan, exploration of one of the oldest neighbourhoods of Dubai, connecting with the blue collar workers of the city, sharing Iftar with them and volunteering to clean up after them.
At the end we are all the same
I found the following comment on what Ramzan means to her by Asma Said Khan to be very interesting. She talks about how lonely she felt the first time she was away from home on Ramzan. I could related to that as I felt exactly the same the first time I was away from home on Durga Puja. I remember going to the Durga Puja at Bandra one night after work and then breaking into tears at the thought of how far away I was from home. That’s the first time I felt alone in Mumbai.
This is what Asma says:
“The Ramzan that is etched in my heart are the summers when I lived in India- I would eat mangoes for Sehri and in the sweltering Calcutta heat- I would wait all day to break my fast with more mangoes! My first Ramzan in Cambridge it snowed and I was trying to cycle back home for iftari and it was too hard so I broke my fast sitting on a park bench with a banana I was carrying in my bag- and I cried! I missed the excitement and laughter and all the wonderful food of my parents table for Iftari. It has been 25 years since I left Calcutta-I always feel lonely breaking my fast without my mother.”