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| The Kitty Karmakars joined me after I posted this piece |
I am at my desk and in front of my Macbook after what seems like ages!
In the past you have seen me ascribe such long periods of absence to lower back pain attacks. I am happy to tell you that September has been a lot better on this count. One thing which has helped is my yoga practise with Sivananda Gurgaon which I began this year, prodded by Kishi Arora, my very accomplished baker friend from Delhi. I started with the back pain course, then the beginners, then pranayam, meditation, a repeat of the back pain course…till, Namitaji, one of the teachers counselled me to join the daily class. All of this is online. Her urging helped me shed my fears and join and I can feel the difference. I am far from mastering the asanas, nor am I hundred per cent pain free, but I seem to be more in control of my back and body.
So what kept me away?
Sleep. Or the lack of it. I have been a late sleeper for long with protracted periods of insomnia. This got accentuated when the pandemic hit us. It has been 16 months since then. We have seen normalcy in some aspects of life. And none, in many. And my sleeplessness seemed to have got accentuated this month. This was having a telling effect on me. I would spend the first half of the day as if in a trance. Not really able to function till I had an afternoon nap or a savasana session. Then I would step out in the evening for a walk and to meet the cats in our hood. Or get into a yoga class at home. Feeling fresh till we had dinner after which I was in zombie zone again.
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| Smol & Scooby |
I would still write, but mainly on Instagram and on my phone. I would write little anecdotes from my life in the notes app on the phone while in bed at night and then put them on instagram. People seemed to love them and the interaction through comments would be really amazing. At times I would motivate myself to copy and paste these on the blog through the phone. The thought of coming to the desk and using the laptop to do it, forget writing fresh content, seemed too intimidating to my sleep starved soul.
This is the point of the narrative where you might feel tempted to weigh in and write to me with your solutions the issue. Please do not, is my request. I have discussed this with experts and professionals and we are working on it.
Yes, it could be a function of poor habits (eating late, watching TV, checking the phone, etc etc). And/ or a sense of stress. I know that I have been overwhelmed in the past of few weeks by the frenzy of activity that I see on social media, socially and professionally, with things opening up. It is natural to question oneself about what one is doing in such a context.
Then I came across this line by Dr Daisaku Ikeda, the Buddhist philosopher, which struck home. “Don’t compare yourself with others. Just do your best in each task you have to and gradually gain your footing.”
Enjoy what you are doing. Don’t worry about anything else, K kept telling me.
Which is why I came to my desk today, after having a hot dosa and sambar breakfast made by our new cook (the mysterious #kayteecooks on Instagram). Unlike Banu, she comes to work well in time to make lunch and that is a load of our minds. And, on days like this, breakfast too. I know that there’s a lot of curiosity around this. I will release a statement on the composition of our kitchen cabinet when the time is apt.
I got off to a lovely start to the day in earlier with Baby Loaf, our elder cat, jumping on the bed to wish me good morning after he head butted me on my, er, derriere. He was soon joined by little Nimki, our younger cat. K, who was on a work call, popped in with a smile on seeing I had woken up.
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| Waking up to the Kitty Karmakars |
I plan to make some ilish after this but I thought I will come and write first.
A month or so back I realised what I really want to do. I want to be a columnist like Busybee, bring a smile to people’s faces. I feal lucky I have my blog for that. I treasure my blog and what it has given me. I have written columns in the past. Maybe I will again
I want to be an anchor in the Dr Prannoy Roy mould. A dream I held in school and then while conducting focus groups and depth interviews in my market researcher day. I love working on my podcast series, #FoododcracyForHer, where I bring to you chats with women in the food business. A weekly project I started in April 2020 and have absolutely loved it since. I wish more people would watch/ hear it because the stories shared are truly amazing. Someday I hope.
I also hope to have my food and travel show someday. I must confess that I miss travel at times. I also know how attached our two children of the pandemic, Baby Loaf and little Nimki are to us. I am aware of the uncertainty outside. I have to learn to be patient. To have faith. And to keep at it. Maybe my next book will be on our cats. K thinks it should be. What about you?
Most importantly, I have to learn to not get restless or easily distracted. And limit my time on social media.
To sit and write as if nobody’s watching instead. And enjoy it!
See you, I have some lovely pieces of ilish waiting impatiently for my attention.
Appendix:
Link to my latest #foodocracyforher episodes. The initial ones are only on IGTV.
